She said...she wants...

Still remember I had just kissed her goodbye just 2 days ago..
She seemed to have glanced at me as her sister's car drove past from afar..

that very night after...
she said she needed a break from our relationship..a 6mth break..
she said she felt tied down (perhaps I was possessive but so was she)..and do not know what she really wants..
she said the feeling is fading away..
she said a break will let her see how impt am i..
she said she wants to feel a life of a single..and have fun..
she wants to experience life and see if i am the one...
she wants to clear her doubts..
she said she loves me..but she wants to love herself...

I asked if there is someone else...
she said no..
I believed her...
she said it could mean a better relationship in the future..
And so I agreed..

The next day...
I asked if there is someone else..asked her to tell me the truth..
she said there is someone who keeps popping up in her mind...
she said she felt guilty and needed time to sort out her feelings..

Suddenly..it all makes sense...
she realises there could be other options...she wants to know if she is missing out on anything..
she does not want to commit..she thinks she might find a better guy..but everybody is better in many ways..how to determine the best?
she said I could find other girls as well..but she probably knows I wont..
I told her I could wait..but not too long..as I want to be fair to my self..
she said she just needs some time..and so I shall give her space..

I dunno if I could wait..
I was prepared to wait..but if there is someone else..why should I?
If she does come back..will she do this again?
I had loved her so much and pampered her..but she still could stray...
I have lost all confidence...

What if I wait but end in disappointment?
But I love her too much..more than I love myself..so I can't jus let go..

How I wish this was all a dream..